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Task 2 Essay · two part

In many countries, the number of babies being born is falling. Why is this happening? What effects does this have on society?

In many countries around the world, people are having than before. This essay will discuss the reasons of this trend and the it have on society. There are some reasons why people do not want to have many . , the cost of living is very high nowadays. Raising a child need a lot of money for food, clothes and education, so many couples decide to have only one child or no child. , many womens are focusing on their career. In the past, women usually stayed at home, but now they want to work and get success in their job, so they delay to have . Also, some young people think will take their freedom, they prefer to travel and enjoy life. This trend have many on society. The first is that the population is getting older. When there are babies, the number of old people become bigger than young people, and the government must spend more money for pension and hospital. Another is lack of workers. In the future, companies cannot find enough young workers, so the economy may grow slowly. Some schools also close because there is not enough students. , people have because of money problems and career, and this cause big problems like old population and workers. I think government should give support to families, free education, so people can have more .
Highlights:AaLinking wordsAaRepetitionAaGrammar

Examiner feedback

What to improve
  • Grammatical RangeVary sentence structures further and proofread for minor grammar and article errors.
  • Lexical ResourceReduce repetition by paraphrasing key terms with precise synonyms.
  • Task AchievementDevelop each main idea with a more specific example to strengthen support.
What you did well
  • Task AchievementThe response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout.