7.5band
In many countries, villages are steadily emptying as their younger residents move to large cities. This essay will suggest that the trend stems from the concentration of opportunities in urban areas, and will argue that, on balance, it is a negative development for society as a whole.
The reasons for this migration are chiefly economic. Well-paid jobs, universities and training opportunities are overwhelmingly concentrated in cities, while rural economies often depend on agriculture or small businesses that offer limited prospects for ambitious school leavers. Beyond employment, cities promise a lifestyle that the countryside cannot match: cinemas, restaurants, sporting events and, perhaps most importantly for the young, the chance to meet a wide circle of like-minded people. When these attractions are advertised constantly on social media, it is hardly surprising that many young people view staying in their home village as settling for less.
Although migration clearly benefits many individuals, I would argue that its wider effects are damaging. Rural communities lose precisely the people they need most, the energetic and the educated, leaving behind an ageing population and declining schools, shops and services, which makes the countryside even less attractive in a vicious circle. Cities, meanwhile, struggle to absorb the newcomers: housing costs rise, transport networks become overloaded, and many migrants end up in insecure jobs far from the success they imagined. In other words, the trend tends to hollow out one place without genuinely enriching the other.
In conclusion, young people move to cities because opportunity and excitement are concentrated there, but the resulting imbalance harms both rural and urban areas. Governments should therefore invest in regional universities, remote working infrastructure and rural industries so that leaving home becomes a choice rather than a necessity.
Highlights:AaLinking wordsAaRepetitionAaGrammar
Examiner feedback
What to improve
- Grammatical RangeVary sentence structures further and proofread for minor grammar and article errors.
- Lexical ResourceReduce repetition by paraphrasing key terms with precise synonyms.
What you did well
- Task AchievementThe response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout.
- Coherence & CohesionIdeas are logically ordered with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.