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Task 2 Essay · two part
Many young people today admire celebrities such as singers, actors and sports stars more than figures like scientists or politicians. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is increasingly common for teenagers to admire film stars, musicians and athletes instead of scientists, doctors or political leaders. In my view, this trend is largely driven by the media environment young people grow up in, and it is a negative development overall.
The main reason for this phenomenon is visibility. Celebrities dominate social media, streaming platforms and advertising, so young people are exposed to their lifestyles on a daily basis. A footballer's goal or a singer's new album is instantly shared with millions, whereas a scientist's breakthrough is rarely reported outside specialist publications. In addition, entertainment industry deliberately presents stars as glamorous and successful, which makes their lives seem more attractive than the quiet, long-term work of researchers or engineers. Young people naturally imitate what they see most often, and what they see is fame rather than substance.
I believe this situation is harmful for two reasons. Firstly, it distorts young people's career expectations. Many teenagers dream of becoming famous overnight instead of developing practical skills, even though only a tiny minority will ever achieve a celebrity status. Secondly, some celebrities promote unhealthy values, such as excessive consumption or unrealistic body images, which can damage adolescents' self-esteem. Admittedly, a few stars use their influence positively, for example by raising money for charity, but these cases are exceptions rather than the rule.
In conclusion, young people idolise celebrities mainly because the media constantly puts them in the spotlight, while important figures stay largely invisible. Since this encourages unrealistic ambitions and shallow values, I consider it a negative development, and I would argue that schools and the media should give scientists and other role models far more attention.
Highlights:AaLinking wordsAaRepetitionAaGrammar
Examiner feedback
What to improve
- Grammatical RangeVary sentence structures further and proofread for minor grammar and article errors.
- Lexical ResourceReduce repetition by paraphrasing key terms with precise synonyms.
What you did well
- Task AchievementThe response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout.
- Coherence & CohesionIdeas are logically ordered with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.